Lymerics

There was a young girl of Darjeeling
Who could dance with such exquisite feeling
There was never a sound
For miles around Save of fly-buttons hitting the ceiling.

A worried young man from Stamboul
Discovered red spots on his tool.
Said the doctor, a cynic,
`Get out of my clinic! Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool.'

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think -- It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

There was a young fellow of Ealing,
Devoid of all delicate feeling.
When he read on the door:
`Don't shit on the floor' He jumped up and shat on the ceiling.

There once was a man from Glass
Who's balls where made of brass
when the clanged together,
they played stormy weather
and lightning shot out his ass.

There once was a girl named Madonna
To all the boys she'd ask "Do yo wanna?"
Warren Beatty said no,
called her a "HO"
Now she cries and smokes marijuana.

There once was a man named McGill,
Whose acts grew exceedingly ill,
He insisted on habits,
involving white rabbits,
and a bird with a flexible bill.